The brilliance and clarity of sunlight cannot be dimmed by aeons of darkness; likewise, the radiance of the mind’s essential nature cannot be obscured by aeons of delusion.
The empty house that has stood in darkness for milennia is illuminated instantly by a single lamp; likewise, an instant’s realization of the mind’s clear light eradicates negative propensities and mental obscurations inculcated over countless aeons.
– from “The Flight of the Garuda,” an ancient song of Dzogchen
As many of you know, I recently organized, created and presided over my very first sex magick ritual.
I’ve been interested in the idea of sex magic for a long time. After all, I told myself over the years, there must be a reason patriarchy has done so much to demonize and denigrate human sexuality, and especially, female sexuality.
I reasoned that there must lie great power in this, perhaps even the secret to our liberation from oppressive forces like patriarchy.
And in all reality, this is not a new concept. In traditions much older than the Bible and all the Abrahamic religions (Christianity, Judaism, Islam), people understood sexuality as the potent force of creation, literally the embodiment of the divine.
A Historical Look into Sex Magick
Sexuality, and the energy it generated, was used to create magic in various forms, to heal, and to gain closer proximity to the divine.
Demetra George, in her incredible, best selling book Mysteries of the Dark Moon, writes:
“Five millennia ago, matriarchal societies, which had worshipped goddesses of the earth and moon such as Innana, Ishtar, Isis, Demeter, and Artemis gave way to patriarchal societies. The Goddess’s teachings held that death was but the precursor to rebirth and that sex be used not only for procreation, but also for ecstasy, healing, regeneration, and spiritual illumination.
Among the most sacred customs of the Goddess, in all three of her manifestations, were the sexual rites in which her priestesses would have ritual intercourse with the members of the community who came to the temples to worship Her.
These priestesses acted as channels to bring the Goddess’s divine blessing of love and fertility into the lives of human beings. Warriors, returning home from battle, would first come to these priestesses to be ritually cleansed from the stains of having killed.
The recipients of this blessing participated in a rite in which they could be purified, healed, and regenerated through the sexuality of the Goddess, which was enacted within a ritual context.”
It might seem bizarre to our modern day, patriarchally-tainted understanding of the motives and desires of the divine to consider that sex could hold the power to heal and cleanse in this way, but when you consider the potency of sexual energy, the degree of vulnerability (and therefore, truth) that being naked and in communion with another body (or bodies) invites – not to mention the dissolving of individual identities into oneness, which could be argued is the TRUE essence of God – it really makes a lot of sense.
To understand the face of the Divine, we must observe in full authenticity the creation of the divine. Not the holy books of various dogmatic religions, which were one and all created by men; but Nature and our own bodies, which were certainly the direct creations of whatever Creator or organizing force may exist.
And if we observe our own bodies and nature, we are forced to honor and acknowledge our reality as sensual, embodied beings. It is through this acknowledgment and honoring, that we can break free of the limiting and oppressive shackles we’ve inherited from previous generations and stifling traditions that teach us to hate, fear and vilify this aspect of our essential nature.
Sharron Rose, author of the book Path of the Priestess connects the dots beautifully between our sensuality, our embodied reality, and the magic they can create which sustains and nourishes our freedom when she writes,
“Sensuality is a feeling of being totally present in the body, with the senses fully open and expanded, every molecule alive with vital energy…
We are embodied so that we can feel, so that we can use our senses to experience the innate beauty of our existence. Perceiving the wisdom and power of sensuality is one of the most important steps on the path to self-liberation.”
Self realization and self-liberation are two sides of the same coin. One could argue that is this, perhaps, that makes up the rhyme and reason of why we are here. For, in order to understand and accept the nature of the Divine, we must first be able to understand and accept our own Nature.
And once we understand and accept our own nature, we are then better equipped to do the same for and with other embodied, sensual humans around us. And when we do this with others, we achieve oneness – and is that onenness, that essential, unifying energy – not the face of God(ddess)/Creator/Source/Spirit/Universe?
Some people eschew the possibility of a God, Creator or Unifying Force – and this viewpoint makes sense, when one considers the ravages of our modern world. The needless suffering, the shadow of human torment, the ugliness of disease, hunger and war.
But doesn’t our sexuality and the power of intimate connection, as Demetra George describes, also create healing and regeneration? Older cultures and traditions thought so:
“In India, the serpent, coiled as kundalini energy in the seat of the sexual chakra at the base of the spine, symbolized the dark moon powers of regeneration through participation in the sexual mysteries. “
The erotic sentiment is the potent “seed” of mysticism. It is the raw emotion of love, a feeling that stimulates the passions, “fires” the senses and awakens the kundalini-energy at the sexual center. The erotic sentiment is evoked through the delightful contact of the senses with the external world. When refined and channeled, eroticism leads to the experience of transcendence and ecstasy.
– Nik Douglas and Penny Slinger, Sexual Secrets
And it is India that is perhaps the greatest living source of the Old Knowledge; the culture that has maintained its roots in Goddess worship despite the onslaught of patriarchal conditioning.
Rufus C. Camphausen, author of The Yoni: Sacred Symbol of Female Creative Power, writes in detail of the myriad sex magic rituals still held in Indian Tantra schools.
My hope is that you will read his words and find inspiration, and perhaps, a broken-open mind towards what is possible when it comes to your own sexual potency, whether you are a vulva owner or the lover of one:
“The Sanskrit word puja is usually translated to “worship”. A Yoni Puja can be defined as a sacred ritual during which the Yoni is worshiped. While a sculpture, a painting or a sanctified natural object may be used as the focus of veneration, Yoni Puja can also be performed by worshiping the Yoni in her living form.
There are a multitude of variations of Yoni Puja….however, several elements and distinct symbologies constitute a kind of blueprint for Yoni Puja. In ordinary Yoni Puja…five liquids representing the five elements of the Indian cosmology are poured consecutively over the Yoni and are collected in a vessel below the thighs. The earth element is represented by yogurt, the element water by actual water, fire by honey, air by milk, and ether by a type of edible oil. The final mixture of the five libations, empowered by such direct and intimate contact with the living Goddess, is then consumed by those present at the ritual.
Before the visible Yoni, either of a living woman or of an image of the Goddess, the worshipers offer their general prayers (adoration) or chant mantras while beseeching her to grant them wishes of all kinds (magic).
In more esoteric Tantric practices the sexual energies are awakened on purpose. In these rituals the Yoni is not only adored and worshiped, it is also stimulated and excited and sometimes even penetrated, depending on which holy scripture the sect follows. No mixture of yogurt, honey, and oil is consumed by these worshipers. The most esoteric of Tantrics in their most sacred modes of worship consume the juices of love produced by the woman/Goddess or produced by mingling the female juices with those of the male. Two-thirds of this yonitattva, or divine nectar, is mixed with wine and drunk by the congregation, the remaining one third is offered to the Goddess.
This type of Yoni Puja is sometimes celebrated with a menstruating woman, producing the even more powerful liquid known as yonipuspa ‘Flower of the Yoni’.
The practice of Yoni Puja varies regionally and among different schools in regard to the succession of steps and actions taken…what matters are the dedication and single-minded attention of the practitioner, combined with the power inherent in the object of veneration. It is this combination that enables the raising of one’s awareness and influences the potential for liberation inherent in these rituals.
The fundamental prerequisite is the ability of the practitioner to perform this ritual with a deep love and respect for the powers of woman, for the seat of life, for the Goddess.”
Elements of Sex Magick Rituals
Now I’m no expert in how to conduct sex magick, and I imagine there are myriad ways of invoking and channeling our sexual energetics, but here are a few considerations I had when planning mine.
Why?
Get clear on the intention for your ritual. What is the underlying desire? What are you calling in? Imagine your ritual as a magnet, pulling towards you whatever you are reaching for.
Remember to focus your ritual on something you want, rather than planning it to resist something you don’t want. (ex: focusing your prayerful meditation on calling in prosperity into your life, rather than meditating on not being broke.)
For my ritual, the objective was to call in abundance and prosperity. I’m making very big transitions in my life towards building my practice as an SSE and creating community and my intention was to ask for blessings on this projected growth.
Who?
Because whoever is at your ceremony will be contributing their unique energetic field and vital life force towards the request, you want to make sure that whoever is present is sober, has a desire to participate in body/heart/mind, and who shares your vision (or a close approximation).
Also consider if your ritual is appropriate for all genders, or certain age groups.
For mine, I had a small, intimate group of folks who identify as women and are all dear friends with their own background in healing.
What?
Consider what implements you might need for your ritual.
Remembering that ritual is, in essence, about taking a spiritual concept and putting it in physical form, ask yourself: what physical elements do I need to put my desires into form, shape and color?
For mine, I took paper money and other items that represented wealth and growth to me and placed it around the altar we collectively built.
I also grabbed my favorite sex toys and, of course, my favorite squirt blanket to cozy up my nest.
When?
There are various times of the year in which older traditions often held important ceremonies.
For example, the eightfold division of the lunar cycle as 8 holy days, derived from the european pagan Wheel of the Year is often used with its two solstices, two equinoxes, and four cross quarter days.
Demetra George describes that the people who used the Wheel of the Year did so, “believing them to be times of power when there existed a crack or opening between the worlds. At these times the sacred energy of the cosmos could fully enter into the earth plane.”
These holy days were as follows:
– Yule, at the Winter Solstice (December 20-23)
– Candlemas (Feb 2)
– Spring Equinox (March 20-23)
– Beltane (May 1)
– Summer Solstice/Midsummer’s Night (June 20-23)
– Lammas (August 1)
– The Fall Equinox (Sept 20-23)
– Hallowmas (Oct 31)
I often will hold ceremonies during the full moon or the dark moon, depending on the energy and intention behind the ceremony.
For the recent sex magick ritual I did, I chose to do it on Easter Sunday, which was a holiday taken from the Pagan tradition that honored the fertility Goddess Eostre and is an important marker of the change of seasons.
How?
How the ritual happens is as unique and variable as the person holding it.
There is no one right way to do it, though I would say if there is a common thread, that it would be full presence, clear intention, and true faith in one’s own connection to Spirit. Gratitude and reverence seem to me to be necessary ingredients as well.
For my ritual, I led my friends in a grounding meditation where we called in all of our well-healed allies, ancestors, guides, or angels – as well as a variety of energetic forces, including the elements, the plant family, the animal family, the stone family, places we have been, etc.
We then wrote out three specific intentions that we were calling in.
Beforehand, I had joyously created a musical playlist full of songs about calling in abundance and wealth and vital energy. As I played the 30 minute playlist, each of us self-pleasured in our own separate nests. The goal was not necessarily to orgasm, but to build up erotic energy to whatever degree felt authentic and comfortable.
After the playlist ended, we had a few minutes of silence to savor the feeling of our communal erotic energy in our bodies and in the room.
Then I had us circle up and, through a meditation and chant, we sent our intentions out through the energetic web, to be manifested in our daily lives.
Conclusion
My relationship with faith has been shaky at best, ever since divesting myself of the toxic religion of my youth.
Its been a difficult thing to reclaim and refashion, but I feel like this ritual helped heal some of the broken pieces that comprise my faith.
My faith will never look like the dogmatic version organized religions foist on us all, and I’m certainly not worshipping any deity…it’s more that I’m connecting to the divine spark that lives within me and invoking the great energetic web that unites all living things to hear my prayers.
It is through the offering of sacred, sexual energy that I am able to give back to that web and weave strands between myself and members of my community so that we can collectively have our voices heard and our intent made tangible.
Whatever your belief system, energy is real and we are made of it, as are all things in this world. Can we learn to speak the language of this energy? Can we learn to make offerings into it, without taking too much or expecting too much?
Ever since the ceremony, there have been a variety of things that have happened in my life that have definitely validated the potency of sex magick is, even when conducted by a baby priestess like me.
I write this so that you understand how much immense power we hold as embodied, sensual beings.
We don’t have to be inducted into some sacred order, some organization, to be able to touch the divine. We need only be able to connect within and to approach the divine with pure heart and a clear ask.
As I’ve said before, and I’ll say again, I am no expert when it comes to holding ritual. So I would love to hear from YOU – how do you set up or hold your rituals? What did I leave out? Please share whatever wisdom you may hold on this topic.
What happens in your body when you read my words and contemplate the veracity of sex magick? Is there resistance? Arousal? Numbness?
Would you be open to coming to a sex magick ritual if I held another one?